35 weeks..... only 36 days to go

 It has been an emotional winter break for me.  With all the children home and going stir crazy because of the cold I thought a day or two I was going to lose it.  However, I didn't.  That is a great feat for me.  As a mother I often am extremely critical of myself.  I'm not good enough, I don'ot have the right mindset to handle todays challenges, or I just down right don't believe that I am the mom my children need.  How dare I even begin to doubt the makings and ways of my Father?  My God blessed me with 4 beautiful children to raise in Christ and nurture every moment, and then I sit back and doubt his choosings?!  How dare I!!  With only 4-5 weeks to go before Levi is due to make his appearance I realize how truly blessed I truly am.  I have a wonderful husband of 10 years and some of the best children I know. There are days I could strangle them or pin them to the wall but I love them SO much and want to be intentional on being the best Mother I can be.  Only through God will I be able to be that mother. 

So..... I am 35 weeks along in this 4th pregnancy and I am still a bit concerned about our little man being breech.  I have had a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions over the last week and it was getting to be pretty uncomfortable.  Then yesterday everything seemed to calm down and relax.  I even think he may have turned.  There was a big whoosh and pressure that makes me think he has finally turned.  After all that movement and pain I felt a huge relief of pressure in my ribs and my pelvis.  So, I do truly hope he is turned the right way now and there will not be any complications from here on out.  Please, if you think of me say a little prayer that Levi is head down and in the right position for a natural delivery.  I've never had surgery or an epidural.  It scares me to give those drugs to myself and our little man.  I'm very anxious and nervous.  We go back to OB next Thursday so we'll know if he's in the right position but I'm still a bit anxious. 

Oh, I have to share what Lucas said to me.  So, we were putting the infant seat in the truck which was Lucas' spot for sitting.  We put him in the back seat with his bigger brother.  Lucas watched and never said a word.  Then on the way back home he asked if that was the seat for baby brother.  I told him yes.  That is where Levi will be sitting.  Then he asked me where the baby was.  I told him that Levi is still in my belly and will not be here for a few more weeks.  Then he proceeded to inform me that we need to go to the hospital so Levi will come out and sit in his carseat.  It was probably one of those 'have to be there' moments.  Lucas was SO serious and a matter of fact about it all.  He wasn't upset about being moved but he was very sure he wanted Levi here and he wanted him here now.  It was absolutely adorable because it just hit him all of a sudden that there is going to be a baby in the vehicle.  I've been washing clothes, blankets, and burp rags getting ready and organized for Levi.  Lucas watches me and asks me about every item and what it's for.  He is very observant and is realizing more and more that Levi is going to be here soon.  You can tell just by all the questions he comes with.  Lucas is ONLY 3!  :)  Anyhow, thought I would share and make another mama smile.



God bless and I hope that each of you have had a wonderful Thursday! :) 

Blessings,