Purposeful Homemaker: The Beginning of Becoming a Good Mom
Purposeful Homemaker: The Beginning of Becoming a Good Mom
I shared this link because it spoke to my heart.
Have you ever been the holding it all together on the outside but about to fall apart on the inside mom or woman? I have! and I am currently in that season. I do everything I can to keep myself 'looking' together. I am failing miserably now. I do what I can to not be overly emotional, overly stressed, and act as if my faith is amazingly strong. I have to be honest. I am an emotional mess at times! My hormones are raging from depressive to exhausted to wonderful. I'm physically and emotionally drained.
Here's why. I had a very tough pregnancy. I was tired and in pain constantly. I have NEVER experienced such a painful blessing! Then I had a painful labor, filled with back labor and pelvic pain. The delivery was not much more pleasant due to the horrible doctor that was on call! HORRID bedside manner. This Dr. was on the treadmill that most are on and took it upon herself to do things before I realized what she did and she did NOT even ask or let me know until way too late! It was emotional for me and I felt so taken advantage of. It was as if she took something from me that I can never get back. But, that is all behind me and I had to come to terms with it 2 weeks ago finally. God is amazing at providing peace! Anyhow, while we are getting excited about going home Levi went for his circumcision. Well, they began and were not able to finish it. He has hypospadias. It's a somewhat common defect in boys. If you have never heard of it, like me, it's basicly a deformation of the uretha. The opening is on the underside of the penis instead of the tip. So at 12-15 months my little Levi will have a surgery to correct it and to then have the circumcision. I was very upset and sad about the news but again God has given me peace about it all. I know that my little man will be taken care of and all will be well! Then you have weeks of exhaustion to go after all of that. 4 weeks later..... I have an obstructed bowel. Yeah, NO fun for a nursing mama or anyone for that matter. We survived it with lots of tears and crying (from both Levi and myself). Then I go for my 6 week check up. Whoooo hooo. I was excited to go so that I can get the okay that I can begin excercising and going back to all normal activity. Well, that was not the case. I can exercise and go back to almost all normal activity. However I can not lift anything heavy and can not strain myself at all. So, no moving furniture and rearranging my house like I really want to do. :( My OB/GYN informed me that I have pelvic prolapse. There are 3 different kinds and the one I have is NO fun. This is also what most likely caused my issues just 2 weeks ago and will continue to cause problems.
So, here I am with a ton of emotions running through me and I am still physically in pain and drained. With all of those things I've listed I have still had to do all the other duties of being wife and mommy and homemaker. So, right now I put on a face that I've got things together, yet I feel like I'm crumbling an no one seems to truly see. I know that I need help. I need prayer that I stay strong and do not slip back into post partum depression. I know that I need someone or a few people that I can call when needed to vent, get direction, or just have a shoulder to cry on. I know that I need help with the day to day of keeping our home running and orderly. (by the way this is SO not happening right now) :)
So, I hope that you can read the blog and are touched by it as well. If this post is tmi for you.... sorry. This blog is about my journey and life... and this is just party of it. :)
I pray you are blessed this week with something wonderful!
Blessings,
I shared this link because it spoke to my heart.
Have you ever been the holding it all together on the outside but about to fall apart on the inside mom or woman? I have! and I am currently in that season. I do everything I can to keep myself 'looking' together. I am failing miserably now. I do what I can to not be overly emotional, overly stressed, and act as if my faith is amazingly strong. I have to be honest. I am an emotional mess at times! My hormones are raging from depressive to exhausted to wonderful. I'm physically and emotionally drained.
Here's why. I had a very tough pregnancy. I was tired and in pain constantly. I have NEVER experienced such a painful blessing! Then I had a painful labor, filled with back labor and pelvic pain. The delivery was not much more pleasant due to the horrible doctor that was on call! HORRID bedside manner. This Dr. was on the treadmill that most are on and took it upon herself to do things before I realized what she did and she did NOT even ask or let me know until way too late! It was emotional for me and I felt so taken advantage of. It was as if she took something from me that I can never get back. But, that is all behind me and I had to come to terms with it 2 weeks ago finally. God is amazing at providing peace! Anyhow, while we are getting excited about going home Levi went for his circumcision. Well, they began and were not able to finish it. He has hypospadias. It's a somewhat common defect in boys. If you have never heard of it, like me, it's basicly a deformation of the uretha. The opening is on the underside of the penis instead of the tip. So at 12-15 months my little Levi will have a surgery to correct it and to then have the circumcision. I was very upset and sad about the news but again God has given me peace about it all. I know that my little man will be taken care of and all will be well! Then you have weeks of exhaustion to go after all of that. 4 weeks later..... I have an obstructed bowel. Yeah, NO fun for a nursing mama or anyone for that matter. We survived it with lots of tears and crying (from both Levi and myself). Then I go for my 6 week check up. Whoooo hooo. I was excited to go so that I can get the okay that I can begin excercising and going back to all normal activity. Well, that was not the case. I can exercise and go back to almost all normal activity. However I can not lift anything heavy and can not strain myself at all. So, no moving furniture and rearranging my house like I really want to do. :( My OB/GYN informed me that I have pelvic prolapse. There are 3 different kinds and the one I have is NO fun. This is also what most likely caused my issues just 2 weeks ago and will continue to cause problems.
So, here I am with a ton of emotions running through me and I am still physically in pain and drained. With all of those things I've listed I have still had to do all the other duties of being wife and mommy and homemaker. So, right now I put on a face that I've got things together, yet I feel like I'm crumbling an no one seems to truly see. I know that I need help. I need prayer that I stay strong and do not slip back into post partum depression. I know that I need someone or a few people that I can call when needed to vent, get direction, or just have a shoulder to cry on. I know that I need help with the day to day of keeping our home running and orderly. (by the way this is SO not happening right now) :)
So, I hope that you can read the blog and are touched by it as well. If this post is tmi for you.... sorry. This blog is about my journey and life... and this is just party of it. :)
I pray you are blessed this week with something wonderful!
Blessings,
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