Get Out Of My Bubble
So, I realized I have some bubble or space issues! I like order. I thrive off of a schedule, a list and a very specific list of rules to follow. It makes me happy to know where I need to be and when I need to be there. I smile when I am able to check off a list of things I completed! I usually see things black and white and don't enjoy the gray areas that some often interpret.
I am the mother of four. So my bubble is OFTEN invaded. I do not get to complete my lists and I often am not able to make the things on my schedule. And the rules.... too many end up thrown out the window. There are times, like the last few days, that I don't even want my children to be touching me. I have my 17 month old SO clingy and not feeling well that this mama needs some don't touch me, iPod jammin', dance like a fool, blog typing(writing), or painting time! I can't remember the last time I was able to go pee without my baby boy joining me at the door or even walking on in. I can't remember the last time that Michael and I had more than a few hours together just to be together, enjoy a quiet dinner, or even a weekend away.
I also realized that I don't enjoy my planned and scheduled bubble to be burst by the thoughts, opinions, and attitudes of those I am blessed to work with in different areas of ministry. I tend to enjoy to plan out something and follow through with that plan. I have thought at times I had a go with the flow attitude and I would just make everything work out. Well... that only is true in certain areas of life. It's confusing even to me!
I caught myself tonight going with the flow after a night of 'Diva' moments. I basically embarrassed myself.
I mean, who was I to tell someone else that I was upset about something so petty? I mean really??!? I caught myself in a rut of 'I usually do this so I didn't want to do it differently'. I felt as if since my job changed that something was being taken away from me. I didn't have as much responsibility so I was almost defensive and like I was being demoted or something. Why do I continually want to work for men and get their approval instead of just doing my job as well as I can so that it's pleasing to God?!? Why does having other people like me and want me to keep being around make me feel worth? I am worthy without the approval of man! I am a daughter of the one true King! I am saved and given God's grace daily! Praise Jesus!! I may be a sinner and fail miserably at so many tasks before me but I know one thing for sure! Satan is the enemy and tries so hard to keep me in those ruts and keep me weak.
James 4:7-8 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Humility in Christ will enable me to overcome my human tendencies toward worldliness tendencies that draw me away from God. I have to take the first stem in my relationship with God. He is always so patient and waits for me to come to Him with my heart open. I want to live my life each day with a purpose. I want to please God and to bless those whom God has given me to nurture and love. That includes my husband, my children, my extended family & friends, those I serve through the different ministry's I am blessed to be a part of and also to those that I come in contact elsewhere.
My reflection tonight is to have a changed heart and mind. I want to have that thankFULL heart that led me to begin this blog. I want to regain the strength and fire God put in me to serve Him and lead others to Him. I want my joy back! And by the Grace of God and even if only by His strength alone I will get it back!
I am over joyed reflecting back on the last few days. I have witnessed three young people come forward in my home church. They were saved and wish to unite in fellowship with MPBC! I cried streaming tears down my face. Those tears were PURE JOY! God is SO good!! Having the opportunity to be saved through Jesus is amazing. I can't imagine anything greater right now! Then I found out a young man was saved tonight during our 4th night of VBS! The entire week of getting prepared for the event is ALL worth it just for that one soul to be saved! I am praying there are more to come from the seeds that are planted this week.
Blessings,
I am the mother of four. So my bubble is OFTEN invaded. I do not get to complete my lists and I often am not able to make the things on my schedule. And the rules.... too many end up thrown out the window. There are times, like the last few days, that I don't even want my children to be touching me. I have my 17 month old SO clingy and not feeling well that this mama needs some don't touch me, iPod jammin', dance like a fool, blog typing(writing), or painting time! I can't remember the last time I was able to go pee without my baby boy joining me at the door or even walking on in. I can't remember the last time that Michael and I had more than a few hours together just to be together, enjoy a quiet dinner, or even a weekend away.
I also realized that I don't enjoy my planned and scheduled bubble to be burst by the thoughts, opinions, and attitudes of those I am blessed to work with in different areas of ministry. I tend to enjoy to plan out something and follow through with that plan. I have thought at times I had a go with the flow attitude and I would just make everything work out. Well... that only is true in certain areas of life. It's confusing even to me!
I caught myself tonight going with the flow after a night of 'Diva' moments. I basically embarrassed myself.
I mean, who was I to tell someone else that I was upset about something so petty? I mean really??!? I caught myself in a rut of 'I usually do this so I didn't want to do it differently'. I felt as if since my job changed that something was being taken away from me. I didn't have as much responsibility so I was almost defensive and like I was being demoted or something. Why do I continually want to work for men and get their approval instead of just doing my job as well as I can so that it's pleasing to God?!? Why does having other people like me and want me to keep being around make me feel worth? I am worthy without the approval of man! I am a daughter of the one true King! I am saved and given God's grace daily! Praise Jesus!! I may be a sinner and fail miserably at so many tasks before me but I know one thing for sure! Satan is the enemy and tries so hard to keep me in those ruts and keep me weak.
James 4:7-8 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Humility in Christ will enable me to overcome my human tendencies toward worldliness tendencies that draw me away from God. I have to take the first stem in my relationship with God. He is always so patient and waits for me to come to Him with my heart open. I want to live my life each day with a purpose. I want to please God and to bless those whom God has given me to nurture and love. That includes my husband, my children, my extended family & friends, those I serve through the different ministry's I am blessed to be a part of and also to those that I come in contact elsewhere.
My reflection tonight is to have a changed heart and mind. I want to have that thankFULL heart that led me to begin this blog. I want to regain the strength and fire God put in me to serve Him and lead others to Him. I want my joy back! And by the Grace of God and even if only by His strength alone I will get it back!
I am over joyed reflecting back on the last few days. I have witnessed three young people come forward in my home church. They were saved and wish to unite in fellowship with MPBC! I cried streaming tears down my face. Those tears were PURE JOY! God is SO good!! Having the opportunity to be saved through Jesus is amazing. I can't imagine anything greater right now! Then I found out a young man was saved tonight during our 4th night of VBS! The entire week of getting prepared for the event is ALL worth it just for that one soul to be saved! I am praying there are more to come from the seeds that are planted this week.
Blessings,
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