A Time Such As This
As I sit back and reflect on this season of life my heart aches and my stomach flip flops with so many emotions. In the midst of this season I feel that many things and many areas have been neglected in my own life and in those around me. This is a painful season of decisions, letting go, and change. I have never been in a season quite like this one. I have never had to make so many hard decisions, let go of things/people that I love dearly and change the brokenness in me. Healing has and still is a hard place to be but it is so freeing. When I let God heal those hurting places from my past and present I am free to serve better. I am freed up to hear God speaking more clearly. I am free to share God with those around me with more love than ever before because that love is straight from God. Through all of the growing, pruning, healing, and scars I fully believe total healing can be made.
Now I have the question, "Once there is healing and restoration then what?"
I believe forward movement and growth can then be made.
Service & ministry can be done in a greater capacity.
God's will more clearly and more intensly be followed.
Then I begin to question where I can go for Godly counsel and leadership. Who do I trust, respect and feel would give the guidance I may need to not fall back into destructive thinking/actions or leadership in where to go from this point forward? My husband? My friends? My mother? My step-father? My Pastor? Different people for different situations I suppose, however there are a few of these I absolutely do not trust or respect. I go to my husband with SO many things but there are times I need to discuss being a better Christian wife with someone other than my husband. There are times I struggle in ministry and need the guidance of my Pastor. I have mixed feelings about this situation right now. It's so heart breaking but there's no good guidance given for where I am right now. I don't know where to go other than on my face to God.
I read a statement from the heart from a Pastor in my community this morning that really spoke to my own heart! The first thought was, "Wow, that is what a Pastor is really supposed to be like." And that first thought made my stomach turn and my heart ache. I desperately yearn for spiritual guidance such as this. I completely understand that God is my leader and guidance! However, when I want to seek spiritual counsel, guidance, and leadership like this I get concerned that I can not do so.
One statement that really caught my attention was, "With brokenness might come hurt. There might be criticism, justified or unjustified. There might be unrealistic expectations thrown to me or my wife and family. No matter what, love will abound. I am not here to contend for their happiness but I am here to contend for their holiness. This comes with tension and pushback but God has called me to lead people in a relationship with God. Let the Holy Spirit do the work and just allow myself to be available." "...in that same moment He reminded me that they need a leader. They need a pastor. They need someone who is on their team no matter what goes on. They need to be insulated and guarded. They need to be pointed to the One who is able to lead them and their families in the right path. They need to be pointed to God."
Oh my. What powerful, heart felt words from a Pastor to his Church members, family, and friends! This statement simply tells me he is a man of God and is exactly where God wants him to be and has a love for people that I have not seen in many, many years!! I am blessed to know this man even the small amount that I do. His wife is a blessed woman. His children have such a Godly example for a father. His Church is amazingly and abundantly blessed to have this man as their Pastor!!!
There comes a time in a ministry when people are no longer the right choice, healthy for, or even good for whom they are ministering to. There comes a time when a change needs to be made. There comes a time when your heart breaks but hard decisions have to be made. There comes a time.....
... such as this.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to you today with a heavy heart that is need of clear and positive direction. You know the hearts of all involved and You know what will be our future. Father, I ask that if Your will is followed that You provide a peace and comfort and ease into the new season ahead. Father God, I ask that You forgive me where I have fallen short in glorifying Your name through my words and actions. I want to honor You and the reputation of a Christian in Your name! God, thank you for Your mercy and providing a Savior, a way to speak with You through prayer & Word, and thank you for being my guidance and leader!
In Jesus Christ holy name,
Amen
Blessings,
Stacey
Now I have the question, "Once there is healing and restoration then what?"
I believe forward movement and growth can then be made.
Service & ministry can be done in a greater capacity.
God's will more clearly and more intensly be followed.
Then I begin to question where I can go for Godly counsel and leadership. Who do I trust, respect and feel would give the guidance I may need to not fall back into destructive thinking/actions or leadership in where to go from this point forward? My husband? My friends? My mother? My step-father? My Pastor? Different people for different situations I suppose, however there are a few of these I absolutely do not trust or respect. I go to my husband with SO many things but there are times I need to discuss being a better Christian wife with someone other than my husband. There are times I struggle in ministry and need the guidance of my Pastor. I have mixed feelings about this situation right now. It's so heart breaking but there's no good guidance given for where I am right now. I don't know where to go other than on my face to God.
I read a statement from the heart from a Pastor in my community this morning that really spoke to my own heart! The first thought was, "Wow, that is what a Pastor is really supposed to be like." And that first thought made my stomach turn and my heart ache. I desperately yearn for spiritual guidance such as this. I completely understand that God is my leader and guidance! However, when I want to seek spiritual counsel, guidance, and leadership like this I get concerned that I can not do so.
One statement that really caught my attention was, "With brokenness might come hurt. There might be criticism, justified or unjustified. There might be unrealistic expectations thrown to me or my wife and family. No matter what, love will abound. I am not here to contend for their happiness but I am here to contend for their holiness. This comes with tension and pushback but God has called me to lead people in a relationship with God. Let the Holy Spirit do the work and just allow myself to be available." "...in that same moment He reminded me that they need a leader. They need a pastor. They need someone who is on their team no matter what goes on. They need to be insulated and guarded. They need to be pointed to the One who is able to lead them and their families in the right path. They need to be pointed to God."
Oh my. What powerful, heart felt words from a Pastor to his Church members, family, and friends! This statement simply tells me he is a man of God and is exactly where God wants him to be and has a love for people that I have not seen in many, many years!! I am blessed to know this man even the small amount that I do. His wife is a blessed woman. His children have such a Godly example for a father. His Church is amazingly and abundantly blessed to have this man as their Pastor!!!
There comes a time in a ministry when people are no longer the right choice, healthy for, or even good for whom they are ministering to. There comes a time when a change needs to be made. There comes a time when your heart breaks but hard decisions have to be made. There comes a time.....
... such as this.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to you today with a heavy heart that is need of clear and positive direction. You know the hearts of all involved and You know what will be our future. Father, I ask that if Your will is followed that You provide a peace and comfort and ease into the new season ahead. Father God, I ask that You forgive me where I have fallen short in glorifying Your name through my words and actions. I want to honor You and the reputation of a Christian in Your name! God, thank you for Your mercy and providing a Savior, a way to speak with You through prayer & Word, and thank you for being my guidance and leader!
In Jesus Christ holy name,
Amen
Blessings,
Stacey
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