Beauty... more than just a physical trait!
In the last two weeks I have had the same 'thing' keep coming up. Beauty. Physical appearance.
I am over weight. I am a tall woman. I am a busty woman (well, not as much after breastfeeding 4 children. It's proportioned a little differently these days.). I have several physical flaws that God has blessed me with that I do not like much at all, but they make me who I am. I'm not beautiful in the eyes of the world. However, I know that I am beautiful in the eyes of my Father, the one that created me! The dilemma is when I forget that I am beautiful and put myself down to those that love me the most.
It started at church camp of all places. I had a cute Maxi dress that I really like but it was SO hot that I really didn't want to wear a cover up. So, a beautiful friend, I consider her my best friend, talked me into wearing a tank top under it so I was covered up (makes it more modest) but still cooler than I would have been otherwise. She was honest and thought I looked fine. So, my head instantly wanted to scream because I didn't think so. I seen myself as a disgusting mess. I walked into up what seemed a mile long walk way and into the tabernacle. It seemed that every womans eyes stopped and looked at me from head to toe. I instantly felt shamed and embarrassed. :( Awful. Right? What kind of example was I being to young girls by wearing a thin strapped dress that normally would show cleavage but I had a tank top under it? What was I thinking walking out of the cabin looking like that?
It didn't hit me until yesterday how badly I thought of myself. I didn't realize until yesterday how much I really still don't trust people or their opinion of me.
Then, I have not been wearing make up lately. One, I financially can't afford make up that I'm not allergic to. 2nd, my face was so broke out and so damaged I had to quit wearing it until it was healed. When I didn't wear make up I must have looked really bad. People didn't look at me a 2nd time in the face or really didn't talk to me much at all. Well, most didn't. I know that when you are tired and hormonal you don't look good, but really? Why do people have to make you feel even worse that you already do? Really??
Then, today I read a blog post I found on pinterest, then I read another someone posted to facebook and it was also the topic from a devotional not too long ago. SO..... it's on my mind.
With all that said, we live in a society that tells women our beauty is the most important thing. But that society also tells us that the standard of beauty is not attainable. I know first hand the pain of taking these 'societal' view to heart. I punish myself because I don't measure up to what the 'world' thinks I should be. Rather, I don't measure up to what I think the world thinks I should be. I am a mean girl, to myself. I constantly build others up. I let every woman, girl, friend, or family member know how beautiful they are. God made them beautiful in their motherhood, daughters, sisters, friends, girlfriends, aunts, grandmothers, and inlaws. I have some of the most beautiful friends and family. Physically but they have some of the biggest hearts of anyone. I have been blessed to be friends with women that can walk in a room and infect everyone in it just because they smiled. They are infectious! I have seen grandmothers that have arms that seem to wrap their grandchildren 10 times in absolute love. But, I also have those friends/family (mostly family) that can make a lit up room seem to nearly die and shrivel up cold with one sentence. Every moment that's spent wasting in that disgusting negativity lets a little piece of life slip away and we will never get it back.
I am an heir to negative opinion of self, of others, of trusting anyone and many other traits I don't need to share. I have inherited some things that I desperately seek after God's grace to rid myself of. I don't want my daughter to inherit these traits passed down from generations! I declare today that I will not put myself down in front of my children or my husband. I may even go so far as to not say negative things about myself to my friends. I want to focus on being healthy, active and respect my body instead of being sedentary and despising and hating it. I have to accept the extra weight on these hips and thighs because I do not have the personality and perseverance to work out every single day. That is not a desire of mine. I do try to eat healthy when the budget allows, but often times it does not. So, I have to accept who I am but also trying to be healthier and happier.
I want my daughter to know unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I want her to see just her mom. Not a woman that hates herself and has caused her to have an opinion of herself that is 'society approved'. Blah! Who cares about society. God has made us each the way He wants us. He has allowed us all to have our own challenges for a reason. My physical challenges will be useful one day for someone else. I don't know who but someone. I don't' know when but sometime. Nothing is left to chance and my life is for a purpose! EVERY SINGLE PART OF IT!
SO, that's been my day and my struggle and my thoughts on the matter.
What are your thoughts on the way society views beauty and the way it affects our young girls and even our young boys?
Blessings,
I am over weight. I am a tall woman. I am a busty woman (well, not as much after breastfeeding 4 children. It's proportioned a little differently these days.). I have several physical flaws that God has blessed me with that I do not like much at all, but they make me who I am. I'm not beautiful in the eyes of the world. However, I know that I am beautiful in the eyes of my Father, the one that created me! The dilemma is when I forget that I am beautiful and put myself down to those that love me the most.
It started at church camp of all places. I had a cute Maxi dress that I really like but it was SO hot that I really didn't want to wear a cover up. So, a beautiful friend, I consider her my best friend, talked me into wearing a tank top under it so I was covered up (makes it more modest) but still cooler than I would have been otherwise. She was honest and thought I looked fine. So, my head instantly wanted to scream because I didn't think so. I seen myself as a disgusting mess. I walked into up what seemed a mile long walk way and into the tabernacle. It seemed that every womans eyes stopped and looked at me from head to toe. I instantly felt shamed and embarrassed. :( Awful. Right? What kind of example was I being to young girls by wearing a thin strapped dress that normally would show cleavage but I had a tank top under it? What was I thinking walking out of the cabin looking like that?
It didn't hit me until yesterday how badly I thought of myself. I didn't realize until yesterday how much I really still don't trust people or their opinion of me.
Then, I have not been wearing make up lately. One, I financially can't afford make up that I'm not allergic to. 2nd, my face was so broke out and so damaged I had to quit wearing it until it was healed. When I didn't wear make up I must have looked really bad. People didn't look at me a 2nd time in the face or really didn't talk to me much at all. Well, most didn't. I know that when you are tired and hormonal you don't look good, but really? Why do people have to make you feel even worse that you already do? Really??
Then, today I read a blog post I found on pinterest, then I read another someone posted to facebook and it was also the topic from a devotional not too long ago. SO..... it's on my mind.
With all that said, we live in a society that tells women our beauty is the most important thing. But that society also tells us that the standard of beauty is not attainable. I know first hand the pain of taking these 'societal' view to heart. I punish myself because I don't measure up to what the 'world' thinks I should be. Rather, I don't measure up to what I think the world thinks I should be. I am a mean girl, to myself. I constantly build others up. I let every woman, girl, friend, or family member know how beautiful they are. God made them beautiful in their motherhood, daughters, sisters, friends, girlfriends, aunts, grandmothers, and inlaws. I have some of the most beautiful friends and family. Physically but they have some of the biggest hearts of anyone. I have been blessed to be friends with women that can walk in a room and infect everyone in it just because they smiled. They are infectious! I have seen grandmothers that have arms that seem to wrap their grandchildren 10 times in absolute love. But, I also have those friends/family (mostly family) that can make a lit up room seem to nearly die and shrivel up cold with one sentence. Every moment that's spent wasting in that disgusting negativity lets a little piece of life slip away and we will never get it back.
I am an heir to negative opinion of self, of others, of trusting anyone and many other traits I don't need to share. I have inherited some things that I desperately seek after God's grace to rid myself of. I don't want my daughter to inherit these traits passed down from generations! I declare today that I will not put myself down in front of my children or my husband. I may even go so far as to not say negative things about myself to my friends. I want to focus on being healthy, active and respect my body instead of being sedentary and despising and hating it. I have to accept the extra weight on these hips and thighs because I do not have the personality and perseverance to work out every single day. That is not a desire of mine. I do try to eat healthy when the budget allows, but often times it does not. So, I have to accept who I am but also trying to be healthier and happier.
I want my daughter to know unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I want her to see just her mom. Not a woman that hates herself and has caused her to have an opinion of herself that is 'society approved'. Blah! Who cares about society. God has made us each the way He wants us. He has allowed us all to have our own challenges for a reason. My physical challenges will be useful one day for someone else. I don't know who but someone. I don't' know when but sometime. Nothing is left to chance and my life is for a purpose! EVERY SINGLE PART OF IT!
SO, that's been my day and my struggle and my thoughts on the matter.
What are your thoughts on the way society views beauty and the way it affects our young girls and even our young boys?
Blessings,
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